“Gahhhhhhhh.. I swear, the next person who thinks it’s ok to jump across the front of the pram is gonna get their ankles taken out”, I cursed with my teeth clenched whilst pushing the pram along the busy streets of Central London. The missus however, shakes her head, flashes that smile that I fell in love with before chuckling to herself then linking her arm with mine.
Clearly I’m over-reacting and she knows it. But she’s better than I am – things like this don’t really bother her. I on the other hand am all about etiquette for the most part. Like a typical Londoner, I hate my personal space being invaded. When my son is buckled into his pram, it becomes an extension of me, so jumping over the front of my son’s ride let alone getting too close to it leaves a taste in my mouth worse than drinking orange juice too soon after brushing your teeth. Continue reading “The Ballache of Pushing a Pram Around Central London”
The Uncool Dad on the perils of wearing white sneakers around the kids
We were walking down Oxford Street – myself with the Missus, the two minis and the mini-mini in his tank (ok his pram. But it’s a solid piece of baby ride hence its nickname). The pavement was wet from the prior rainfall. And then it happened – the moment when I was ready to set my step-son’s Pokémon cards on fire.
Continue reading “White Sneakers – The Bane of Parenthood for a Sneakerhead”
Recently the Missus and I have been speaking quite a bit about whether we should put our two year-old little panda Benjamin into pre-school. The conversation sparked when we (she) received a call from a local family centre saying that we are entitled to 15 hours per week and with the cost of childcare being the cause of many a hernia, this wasn’t a conversation that I could just “sure, whatever you want babe” my way out of.
Last week, we went through what was for us a major milestone – Benjamin relinquishing his last dummy.. something that we were dreading for fear of him going full on, inconsolable beast mode in its absence, when in actual fact it turned out to be much the opposite – he’s engaging and communicating more, his speech is improving rapidly and surprisingly sleeping deeper than if he took sleeping beauty’s apple, brewed it into a special cellar cider and smashed it off through his sippy cup. It was as if his dummy was the plug keeping him an infant, ready to be pulled to let out the next stage of childhood.
Continue reading “Is Our 2 Year-Old Ready For Pre-School”
Our two year old goes through the motions of growing up, from wearing his breakfast as a hat to saying goodbye to his dummy
It started with the image above. I was on my way to work when I received a message from the Missus. She had sent me the image of Benjamin, our two year old sitting on the sofa covered in Ready-Brek. Look back at the photo.. Look at how cute his sad face is, he looks like a sad face emoji! Awww hahaha!
Me: “What happened?!?!”
The Missus: “I went to the kitchen to make my toast and I hear him go “oooh” in his sad voice, come back in and he’s covered in this frickin porridge. LOL I tried to take it out of his hair with a wet wipe and it bloody stuck! Need to shower him now. Arghhh”
Continue reading “That Was The Last Dummy, Dummy!”
The Uncool Dad on getting back in shape, not just for himself but for his family
Being a parent is a mentally and physically demanding role. There’s no two ways about it, and if anyone says raising a child is easy, tell them to shut up.
I joke. Don’t tell them to shut up lol, it’s rude.
But jokes aside, if you’re blessed with a well behaved, obedient child and you yourself possess the patience of Joy from Inside Out, you should consider yourself very lucky and you have my admiration.
However, if you’re like the rest of us, you have to constantly keep your wits about you when your young children are around. Even when you’re not switched on, you’re still going to have to make sure little Johnny doesn’t pull down a chest of drawers and pancake himself Continue reading “Move Your Arse, Uncool Dad!”